Three Years
It's been about three years since I made the huge mistake of cheating on my wife. There were many factors that lead to my mistake. I say mistake, not to justify or minimize what I did. I say mistake because essentially it was a mistake. I yearned for things my wife was not offering to me. It wasn't sexual yearnings, it was emotional. I wanted someone to take interest in me, how my day went, concern when I didn't feel well. Things that everyone wants in a relationship. At the time my wife was not capable of providing me with these.
I am starting to wonder if she will ever let things move on. It seems that she still thinks about it regularly, and is convinced it will happen again. I understand how she feels, because she did the same thing to me nine years ago. But there has to come a time that you have to let it go. You have to concentrate on what the relationship is doing now, and the future. Living in the past only keeps the pain alive. I have made a promise to her and myself, that I would never get myself into a position again where I felt the need to find solace in the arms of another woman. I have done that. I don't go on the internet and talk to women. I don't go to bars, at all. If I do anything outside of the house it is either an errand, or I take the children to a park.
I don't want anyone but her. When she is having a good day I feel so in love with her. When she is having a bad day, I still love her.
I hate what I did almost as much as she does. Turning back time is not an option in this day and age, so I can't go back an undo what I did. All I can do is try to show her how much I love her.
The thing is she is constantly testing me. She says or does things to see how I'm going to answer or react. I've got news for you ladies out there in blogland 95% of the time guys cannot see through the question, and will say or do the wrong thing. Most men are cut and dry people. If you ask us a question we will give you OUR answer, not the one YOU are looking for.
This testing does not, has not, nor ever will work with me. If I love you I will show it. If I don't you will know it. You will know it because I won't pay any attention to you at all. I will give you answers in a monotone voice. I will tune you out in my head, so you sound like an adult in a Charlie Brown cartoon (Waa-waa, waa-waa, waa-waa.). You will not receive kisses, hugs, or gropes. YOU will know.
I love my wife, I just wish she would see it.
*Disclaimer: I know the damage caused is my fault. I realize I made this bed, and have to lie in it.
I am starting to wonder if she will ever let things move on. It seems that she still thinks about it regularly, and is convinced it will happen again. I understand how she feels, because she did the same thing to me nine years ago. But there has to come a time that you have to let it go. You have to concentrate on what the relationship is doing now, and the future. Living in the past only keeps the pain alive. I have made a promise to her and myself, that I would never get myself into a position again where I felt the need to find solace in the arms of another woman. I have done that. I don't go on the internet and talk to women. I don't go to bars, at all. If I do anything outside of the house it is either an errand, or I take the children to a park.
I don't want anyone but her. When she is having a good day I feel so in love with her. When she is having a bad day, I still love her.
I hate what I did almost as much as she does. Turning back time is not an option in this day and age, so I can't go back an undo what I did. All I can do is try to show her how much I love her.
The thing is she is constantly testing me. She says or does things to see how I'm going to answer or react. I've got news for you ladies out there in blogland 95% of the time guys cannot see through the question, and will say or do the wrong thing. Most men are cut and dry people. If you ask us a question we will give you OUR answer, not the one YOU are looking for.
This testing does not, has not, nor ever will work with me. If I love you I will show it. If I don't you will know it. You will know it because I won't pay any attention to you at all. I will give you answers in a monotone voice. I will tune you out in my head, so you sound like an adult in a Charlie Brown cartoon (Waa-waa, waa-waa, waa-waa.). You will not receive kisses, hugs, or gropes. YOU will know.
I love my wife, I just wish she would see it.
*Disclaimer: I know the damage caused is my fault. I realize I made this bed, and have to lie in it.
posted by Tall Molly Man at 7:34 PM
2 Comments:
Have you gotten past her cheating on you?
We as women have very long memories.
My husband kissed another girl (KISSED...) about 4 months into our relationship. Because of my low self esteem and my past history of abandonment by people that I loved. It took me a long time to get over it.
I think patience, and just showing her over and over and over again that she is the woman for you will gain back her trust.
Thanks for the comment as well. Fleet is south of me actually, and still on the map. Its about an hour away.
Sorry, the booze has affected my brain, I had wanted to add, that from the time of the kiss until the time I finally forgave him (with the help of therapy) was about 7 years.
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